Paulos the Greek

psychotherapy:

““I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they have always a nostalgia for a home they know not. They are strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have known from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage. They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known. Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history. Sometimes a man hits upon a place to wchich he mysteriously feels that he belongs. Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth. Here at last he finds rest.””

—

W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence

Whether it is interpreting a physicians handwriting, transcribing the muffled rants of the dictating clinician or battling the auto-correct function of microsoft word…meaning can sometimes be lost in translation…

nurse-on-duty:

• The patient has no previous history of suicides
• Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
• Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
• She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
• Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
• The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
• Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
• When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
• Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
• She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
• Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
• The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
• By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

(Source: )

I accidentally gave up smoking

True story. I’ve had one cigarette in the last month or so and I didn’t enjoy it.