January 2012
18 posts
3 tags
Whether it is interpreting a physicians...
nurse-on-duty:
The patient has no previous history of suicides
Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for...
I accidentally gave up smoking
True story. I’ve had one cigarette in the last month or so and I didn’t enjoy it.
Things I learnt at University today:
Chlamydia can lead to infidelity.
IVF can help people who have trouble with contraception.
My fellow nursing students are ace.
2 tags
Eight things
1. Had my photo taken with the first person who climbed Mt. Everest.
2. Had a kidney removed.
3. Dated someone with three kidneys.
4. Watched two oceans break over each other.
5. Been delayed on a flight due to a volcano erupting.
6. Watched your partner’s siblings eat fish eyes.
7. Eaten Christmas dinner which was cooked in a pit six feet underground.
8. Won a competition in a bar...
1 tag
best of tumblr generator →
My BEST posts of 2011
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Generated using the best of tumblr tool.
December 2011
10 posts
3 tags
4 tags
1 tag
British haiku
rilliebear:
Paulos the greek man
Is in fact not greek at all
Crumpets with your tea?
Rillie the Canuck
Writes haikus for Tumblbums
I’d prefer boobies.
Christmas with the family
Mum: I think your sister is hanging out with the the wrong crowd. Just like you are.
Me: I'm not hanging out with the wrong crowd, Mum. I am the wrong crowd.
1 tag
Just gone midnight here in the UK. Merry Christmas Tumblbums!
Quotes from the Ward
I’d forget my tits if they weren’t in my bra.
~ fellow student nurse
My mouth’s dryer than a Nagasaki wrestler’s jockstrap.
~ patient describing the effects of radiotherapy
I’m so hungry I could eat the scab off a donkey’s arse.
~ fellow student nurse
1 tag
Catching up on Tumblr with the Flipboard app is a rather pleasant experience. My ManFlu™, however, is not. I am being a trooper though.
November 2011
7 posts
1 tag
Cee-Lo Green ~ Fuck You.
Can’t get this out...
Second chances
Just moved back in with Father Wife. We’re going to try and make our marriage work. Thought y’all should know.
1 tag
Tales from the hospital
A woman sitting at home watching telly notices that she has a lump in her throat. She tries to ignore it but after rubbing it for a while decides to get herself to the emergency clinic for a check-up. She has to wait two-and-a-half hours to see a doctor. When she finally sees him she anxiously explains that she has found a lump in her throat and, being a nurse, is concerned that it could be a...
1 tag
Explaining skills
Extract from a book on clinical skills.
These skills can be used to explain a common condition, to explain an investigation, or to explain a procedure or treatment. They can also be used in your private life, although it may be unwise to draw a diagram or hand out a leaflet.
October 2011
16 posts
1 tag
Placement One, Day One
Started my first placement on a ward at a local hospital today. Really enjoyed it and looking forward to getting back there tomorrow. After 20+ years of working in finance I feel like I’m now doing the right thing at the right time.
My parents are very supportive
Me: I'll just get my coat on.
Dad: Is that one of mine that Mum gave you?
Me: No! This is the one I got in Miami 20 years ago.
Mum: It looks like it could do with a clean and a bit of tailoring.
Me: It's fine, Ma! It covers my nursing uniform so I comply with the hospital's policies.
Mum: You're not actually going to wear that to the hospital are you?
Me: Of course I am. I'm just not going to wear it when I'm inside the hospital.
Dad: Well that's good, otherwise they'd be taking you straight to the Hobo Ward.
Things you don't want to hear in hospital
You have acute angina. And nice tits too.
(Just heard on Mock the Week).
3 tags
YES!!!
3 tags
No context theatre
barmcake said: If you’ve no batteries, it’s the only way
do-over said: I try to do that regularly, it helps keep my stress down. What.
corvidae30 said: ...
I’m not as thissed as you pink I am.
I think I might just treat myself to another couple of fingers.
iMessage?
So how do I contact you freaks now that I have iOS5 on my iPad?